911 ER Surgery Pasta

Thieves respect property. They merely wish the property to become their property that they may more perfectly respect it. - G.K. Chesterton

These are supposedly real 911 calls. I don't know if they really are or not, but they are kind of funny.

Dispatcher : 9-1-1 What is your emergency?

Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner.

Dispatcher: Do you have an address?

Caller: No, I have on a blouse and slacks, why?

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Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?

Caller : Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham and cheese sandwich .

Dispatcher : Excuse me?

Caller : I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen table and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had taken a bite out of it.

Dispatcher : Was anything else taken?

Caller : No, but this has happened to me before and I'm sick and tired of it!

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Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency?

Caller: I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have an eleven on it.
Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.

Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one.

Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.

Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid.

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Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What's the nature of your emergency?
Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart.

Dispatcher: Is this her first child?

Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband!

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And the winner is..........

Dispatcher: 9-1-1

Caller: Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of breath. Darn....I think I'm going to pass out.

Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?

Caller: I'm at a pay phone. North and Foster.

Dispatcher: ! Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?

Caller: No.

Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing?

Caller: Running from the Police

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Okay...

I had a surgical rotation tonight. I had 2 hours of surgery, and two hours of ER. Surgery was pretty good. They had someone who had gotten his face busted up in a farm accident. They had to do a facial fracture repair. They wired the jaw shut, and then peeled the skin on the cheek bone away so they could fix the zygomatic arch (the arch of bone that extends along the front and side of the skull beneath the eye), which was kind of in pieces. It was fun to watch, and the doc and the anesthesiologist did a good job of explaining things to me.

ER was boring...they had a slow night, so it's understandable. I ended up going with the guy I was shadowing to get food for some of the other employees. So I didn't get a whole lot of gruesome stuff. Oh well...more next time.